Pictured below is my good friend Dorian (hi Dorian!). Pictured underneath Dorian is the famous pop singer Robbie Williams.
Why am I juxtaposing these photos? For the last few years Dorian has been a professional Robbie Williams lookalike. This means he earns good money by opening small supermarkets in Stoke-on-Trent, etc, posing as Robbie Williams - even though everybody knows that he isn't actually Robbie Williams. I think Dorian has even 'met' a few girls that way. What a strange world it is.
The funny thing is, I also know the real Robbie Williams - through another friend, Sacha (hi Sacha!). In fact we once spent a weekend with Robbie, when the singer was on tour in Switzerland. At the end of the weekend, we all ended up playing cards in Robbie's hotel-suite. To this day, I am convinced that Robbie came on to me halfway through the evening. The singer certainly put his hand on my knee.
However, when I mentioned this theory to Sacha, he was not impressed. In fact he laughed for an hour, then pointed out that Robbie Williams is a globally famous pop star who has thousands of young women begging to sleep with him on a daily basis; in that light, Sacha went on, it was surely rather unlikely that Robbie Williams would 'come on' to a 'drunk, little-known, hairy-arsed Cornish novelist pushing forty'. Thanks Sacha.
Anyway, I digress. The reason I am telling this tale is to note that I know Robbie Williams, and I also know the world's top professional Robbie Williams lookalike. And somehow the lookalike Robbie Williams looks more like Robbie Williams than Robbie Williams.