Tuesday, August 16, 2005

How To Abuse Foreigners


You wanna punch this guy, right? But you're not sure why? Me neither. But there's no denying the fun to be had in insulting and abusing foreigners.



How To Get Beaten Up Abroad


I've just come back from Paris, where there was lots of Frenchmen. As always when I am surrounded by Frenchmen, I had a strange desire to biff many of them on the nose, or at least roundly diss them*.
But when you turn to your phrasebook, looking for a handy insult, what do you find? Ludicrously unuseful phrases, that's what. 'Where is the nearest nanometer please?', 'Is it true your godmother is a philologist?' Etc.
So I thought I'd compile my own phrase book of foreign insults. And here it is. I have graded the phrases by degree of insulting-ness.


+ Likely to raise an eyebrow or two

Italian: Cazzo - Prick

Greek: Malakas - Wanker

Spanish: Hijo de puta - Son of a whore

German: Arschloch - Arsehole

Vietnamese: Aat may nhin giong nuhur cai lon - Your face looks like a female sex organ

Japanese: Kono imo - Yokel (literally, 'you potato', as potatoes are grown in the country)

Dutch: Aidsleir - Aids carrier

Irish: Mallacht de ort - The curse of God on you

Thai: Ai sokabrok - Dirtbag




++ Likely to get you insulted in return

Spanish: Mierda de tio - Worthless shit

German: Trockenwischer - Dry wanker

Yiddish: Tsu kleyn tsu zayn a mentsh un tsu grys tsu zayn a shmok - Too small to be a man too big to be a prick

Flemish: Vulle klootzak - Dirty scrotum

Thai: Macam kor dio! - Shorty! (literally means that you are as big as a
tamarind seed pod with only one seed)

Finnish: Saatanan perkeelen vittu! - Satan's Devil's cunt!

Dutch: Kankerlier - Cancer carrier

Irish: Bas na bpisisn chagat - The death of kittens to you (i.e. drowning)




+++ Likely to get you slapped in pubs

Spanish: Oiga, pichi - Hey there tinydick

Romany: Ha miro kar - Suck my cock

Irish: Cigire tonach - Arse inspector

Italian: Un pidocchio rifatto - An unreconstructed louse (i.e. nouveau- riche)

French: Pisse vinaigre - Vinegar pisser (i.e. miser)

Corsican: Ha i zini in istacca - He's got sea-urchins in his pocket (i.e. tightwad)

Thai: Cheep chahlee - Skinflint (from wartime GI talk 'cheap-charlie')

Indonesian: Goblok lu! - You're ugly!

Greek: Yamo tin panayia sou - Fuck your mother of God



++++ Likely to get you bottled

Portuguese: Vai t'a por num porco - Go fuck a pig

Scots: Wan fukkit fundling - Ill conceived foundling

Dutch: Kankerhoer - Cancer-whore

Irish: Nar chasfaidh tu, a scliteach - May you not turn round, o castrated pig

German: Huhnerficker - Chickenfucker

Spanish: Que to folle un pez - May you be fucked by a fish

Vietnamese: Do di cho! - Bitch prostitute

Japanese: Buta! - Fat pig!

Thai: Bai chak wow, see - Go play with yourself, wanker

Indonesian: Pantat lu gede - You have a great big fat ass



+++++ Likely to get your mother stabbed. And your house burned down

Indonesian: Pegi sana, entot mak lu - Go away and fuck your mother

Irish: O muise, mustais frog ort, o bhitch - Oh indeed, a frog's moustache on you, o bitch

Spanish: Me cago en tus muertos - I shit on your dead

Vietnamese: Cai lon ma may - Suck your mother's cunt

Japanese: Busu - You're ugly (the worst possible insult for a girl)

Thai: Ee hia! - You asshole! (literally, and very dangerously, 'you monitor lizard')

Romany: Dav ti dakery minge - I take your mother's cunt, fuckhead

Finnish: Veda vittu paahas - Go pull a cunt over your head

French: J'nique ta soeur - I fuck your sister

Yiddish: Zol dir chapn a chalerye - May you catch cholera



*But I do rather like the French as well. I know, it's confusing. See my post 'My Referendum Rhapsody' for further thoughts...

1 comment:

dsquared said...

Any chance of including the diacritical marks for the Vietnamese ones as you can get into no end of confusion with the intonations.