Tuesday, August 16, 2005
You wanna punch this guy, right? But you're not sure why? Me neither. But there's no denying the fun to be had in insulting and abusing foreigners.
How To Get Beaten Up Abroad
I've just come back from Paris, where there was lots of Frenchmen. As always when I am surrounded by Frenchmen, I had a strange desire to biff many of them on the nose, or at least roundly diss them*.
But when you turn to your phrasebook, looking for a handy insult, what do you find? Ludicrously unuseful phrases, that's what. 'Where is the nearest nanometer please?', 'Is it true your godmother is a philologist?' Etc.
So I thought I'd compile my own phrase book of foreign insults. And here it is. I have graded the phrases by degree of insulting-ness.
+ Likely to raise an eyebrow or two
Italian: Cazzo - Prick
Greek: Malakas - Wanker
Spanish: Hijo de puta - Son of a whore
German: Arschloch - Arsehole
Vietnamese: Aat may nhin giong nuhur cai lon - Your face looks like a female sex organ
Japanese: Kono imo - Yokel (literally, 'you potato', as potatoes are grown in the country)
Dutch: Aidsleir - Aids carrier
Irish: Mallacht de ort - The curse of God on you
Thai: Ai sokabrok - Dirtbag
++ Likely to get you insulted in return
Spanish: Mierda de tio - Worthless shit
German: Trockenwischer - Dry wanker
Yiddish: Tsu kleyn tsu zayn a mentsh un tsu grys tsu zayn a shmok - Too small to be a man too big to be a prick
Flemish: Vulle klootzak - Dirty scrotum
Thai: Macam kor dio! - Shorty! (literally means that you are as big as a
tamarind seed pod with only one seed)
Finnish: Saatanan perkeelen vittu! - Satan's Devil's cunt!
Dutch: Kankerlier - Cancer carrier
Irish: Bas na bpisisn chagat - The death of kittens to you (i.e. drowning)
+++ Likely to get you slapped in pubs
Spanish: Oiga, pichi - Hey there tinydick
Romany: Ha miro kar - Suck my cock
Irish: Cigire tonach - Arse inspector
Italian: Un pidocchio rifatto - An unreconstructed louse (i.e. nouveau- riche)
French: Pisse vinaigre - Vinegar pisser (i.e. miser)
Corsican: Ha i zini in istacca - He's got sea-urchins in his pocket (i.e. tightwad)
Thai: Cheep chahlee - Skinflint (from wartime GI talk 'cheap-charlie')
Indonesian: Goblok lu! - You're ugly!
Greek: Yamo tin panayia sou - Fuck your mother of God
++++ Likely to get you bottled
Portuguese: Vai t'a por num porco - Go fuck a pig
Scots: Wan fukkit fundling - Ill conceived foundling
Dutch: Kankerhoer - Cancer-whore
Irish: Nar chasfaidh tu, a scliteach - May you not turn round, o castrated pig
German: Huhnerficker - Chickenfucker
Spanish: Que to folle un pez - May you be fucked by a fish
Vietnamese: Do di cho! - Bitch prostitute
Japanese: Buta! - Fat pig!
Thai: Bai chak wow, see - Go play with yourself, wanker
Indonesian: Pantat lu gede - You have a great big fat ass
+++++ Likely to get your mother stabbed. And your house burned down
Indonesian: Pegi sana, entot mak lu - Go away and fuck your mother
Irish: O muise, mustais frog ort, o bhitch - Oh indeed, a frog's moustache on you, o bitch
Spanish: Me cago en tus muertos - I shit on your dead
Vietnamese: Cai lon ma may - Suck your mother's cunt
Japanese: Busu - You're ugly (the worst possible insult for a girl)
Thai: Ee hia! - You asshole! (literally, and very dangerously, 'you monitor lizard')
Romany: Dav ti dakery minge - I take your mother's cunt, fuckhead
Finnish: Veda vittu paahas - Go pull a cunt over your head
French: J'nique ta soeur - I fuck your sister
Yiddish: Zol dir chapn a chalerye - May you catch cholera
*But I do rather like the French as well. I know, it's confusing. See my post 'My Referendum Rhapsody' for further thoughts...
Posted by sean at 1:03 pm