Monday, August 08, 2005
An artist's impression of the hideous new terrorist threat facing the UK.
New Warnings from Scotland Yard
Incredible as it may seem, Britain is facing a new wave of terror - even more heinous and appalling than the suicide bombs of July 7th and 21st.
'I'm afraid it's true,' says Detective Inspector Loic Rich, of the Organised Terror Unit at Cornwall Police. 'The recent arrests around Britain have unearthed some chilling documents, which indicate that al-Qaeda is planning a new form of assault.'
And the details? 'Somewhat sketchy at the moment' says the Detective, 'so we can't be wholly sure. But it would appear that the terrorists are hoping to start a tsunami, which they will then surf onto the British shore, using jet-propelled surfboards. And as they land on the battered shores of Britain, they will be squirting bird flu at people, from special sort of guns.'
It seems barely credible. A man-made tsunami, ridden by suicidal bird-flu squirting jet-powered surf-terrorists, yet that may well be the stark scenario facing the people of this country. So horrible is this potentiality, the authorities have yet to establish a means of defense. 'But we're working on it' says the Detective. 'Perhaps we can build a huge plastic dome to go over the country, with holes in it so people can breathe. Or we could float Britain away from danger with seventy billion small fairground balloons. But I'm afraid, until we've cracked it, the UK is, yes, at danger from tsunami-surfing avian-flu squirting jet-terrorists.'
Posted by sean at 9:37 pm