Friday, January 20, 2006

Another Brussels Scandal


The exciting new European Parliament, yesterday.


News from Brussels

(Strasbourg, France) In a dramatic late night session, the European Parliament yesterday passed a joint resolution, condemning homophobia.

The measure passed on a 469 - 149 vote with 41 abstentions. It calls on the European Commission to take a more proactive roll in fighting anti-Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual prejudice in several EU states.

The extraordinary and unexpected decision has shocked many observers. Brussels lobbyist, David van Looooooewuenhook, said this morning: 'No one expected this. We thought the Parliament was going to put out a simple declaration saying that it was OK for people to hate puffs and dykes, because they are pervs. Then one of the members of the European People's Party presented a counter resolution, saying we should in fact fight against homophobia. You could have heard a pin drop!'

This is not the first surprising volte face by the increasingly powerful Strasbourg-based parliament. Last week the same assembly was expected to pass, on the nod, the Wogs Pakis and Niggers can all Fuck Off Back to BongoBongoland Bill, but in the end it was rejected, albeit by the narrowest of margins.

Veteran EU-watchers admit they are fazed by the turn of events. Bernadino Fantastico an Italian journalist based in Brussels, says: 'It could get worse. Next week, the Socialist Group has proposed a bill that says Motherhood and Apple Pie is Good. Judging by the latest events this too could pass. As could Let's State A Lot Of Tediously Predictable Politically Correct Total Gobshite Bollocks Directive (EU 456/67) which comes before the Commission in February'.

A spokesman for the EU Commissioner for Stupid Dreary Pointlessness was unavailable for comment last night.

1 comment:

Steven R said...

Sean, dear chap, when it comes to satire you have all the lightness of touch of Melanie Phillips.