Wednesday, January 17, 2007

You Doubt Me?

Ah, sun, sea and cold Singha beer. I wish.

There seems to be a climate of doubt surrounding my current trip to Indochina. As I said, before I departed, my job during my travels is to try the most disgusting foods in south-east Asia - an area of the world which is well known for its weird recipes, debatable comestibles, and outrageous ingredients. Things like deep fried crickets, river algae, boiled pig uterus, and rat-on-a-stick.

Judging by the ominous lack of well-wishers, however, it seems that many of you are harbouring doubts. Perhaps some of you suspect that I am just on another jolly, soaking up the tropical sun while northwest Europe shivers through winter. Maybe a few cynics think I am simply boozing it up in the pool bars of Patpong.

So I have decided to try and prove that I really am here on a fairly tricky assignment. To that end, here's a photo of myself at work last might. Maybe it will help....


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Toffeewomble Travel Quiz Competition Thingy Results

RB from Canada, pictured enjoying some downtime near his enormous second home. A modest, but gracious man, he works with underpriveliged children, when he isn't writing poetry.*

We have a winner of the fourth Toffeewomble Travel Quiz, RB, a regular reader from Canada. He correctly guessed, without any Googling whatsoever, that I am on the way to Cambodia to eat spiders, in the spider eating city of Skuon.

Congratulations RB!!

Incidentally, I am also off to do something else pretty bloody disgusting in South East Asia, and I shall pose this as a follow up quiz very shortly, seeing as this one was so exciting.

In the meantime, scroll down and look at those spiders again. The roasted ones, on the plate. The big black hairy ones. I've got to eat one of those quite soon. Really quite soon. I'm flying out tomorrow to Thailand and by the end of next week I'll be in Cambodia - eating one of those fuckers. Apparently when you bite into them, this yellow pungent pus-like stuff oozes out of the cracking hairy bodies.

Oh God.

*I've run out of flats in Mayfair.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Toffeewomble Travel Quiz Number Four

Your first clue.

Happy New Year everyone. I know I haven't been posting much, but it's all been rather hectic at Toffeewomble Towers. What with finishing my novel, bringing up my daughter, recovering from festive hangovers, and staring vaguely into space, I haven't had much time for anything blog-esque. And, sadly, that state of affairs is likely to persist for a week or two, because I am off on my travels again.

This time I am going somewhere quite unusual to do something totally ghastly.

But I thought I'd make things more exciting for you by presenting you with this info in the form of, ta-dah!, the Fourth Official Toffeewomble Travel Quiz.

So, where am I going and what am I going to do?

Answers on the back of a blank cheque, please.

The prize is the usual: a large flat in Mayfair or nothing whatsoever (depending on weather). I hope this exciting reward will tempt some better entries than I had for the last travel quiz, when just two people essayed a guess at where I was going, and one of those attempts was 'you're off to a castle where your mum is being banged by an entire basketball team'.

Thanks for that.

Anyway, up there is your first picture clue. That's where I'm headed. The second clue is below....

... this is what I'm looking for when I get there...

... and this is what I'm going to do when I find them. Though obviously I'm going to be doing it with a better haircut.