Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Truth About Our Leaders

Cooperballs, yesterday.

Right now the whole of Britain and her attendant territories, is agog to hear the final revelation from the Daily Telegraph, as to the corruption of our politicians in the unfolding scandal known as ChocolateSantaClaimedOnExpensesGate.

The paper has promised that this last and latest revalation will be gobsmacking, and worse than all the others that have been revealed hitherto.

Frankly, the mind boggles. Given that in the last few days we have learned that our lovely MPs have stolen, swindled and cheated the taxpayer to the tune of several millions, while claiming for porn, a helipad, moat-cleaning, four houses, silk cushions, a chocolate santa, charity donations, £500 a night hotel rooms, £400 cab rides, wooden spoons, a bathplug, endless plasma screen TVs, and a private security force costing £25,000, one wonders just what revelation might be so bad it outdoes all this.

I mean, it has to be pretty bad. So here's my prediction for the Final Revelation.

A well-known Labour couple, both Cabinet Ministers, have claimed the cost of two pairs of £9000 ballet shoes woven by orphans in Vietnam, slippers so finely crafted the orphans have since gone blind from all the exquisite work in poor lighting conditions.

The gold trimmed shoes were for a special one-off £400,000-a-head Gold Shoes Fascist Sambo Ballet Weekend on a private island in the Turks and Caicos, also paid for by us, where billionaire bankers and well known Labour couples waltzed all night on an ivory dancefloor to popular Nazi songs played by native minstrels in comedy loincloths earning 3p a year.

I’m guessing it’s something like that, anyway

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