Thursday, April 30, 2009

Gordon Brown's Manboob Moment


Our Dear Leader, Yesterday.



I’ve just realised what Gordo’s weird “shoulder swaying” movement, in the Notorious Expenses Video, now reminds me of.

See it here

(the eerie socialist shoulder-shuddering occurs about halfway through)

He looks like one of those burlesque dancers in a Wild West saloon, at the end of her strip, who bends forward to “twirl” the tassels on the ends of her nipples, by making her hooters go up and down, and maybe left to right.

This is the only explanation for this otherwise inexplicable movement. In the privacy of his own home, Gordon likes to relax by getting topless and attaching shiny tinsel to his nipples. Then he bounces around the kitchen shaking his shoulders, so his prime ministerial manboobs go up and down - and left to right - and the tinsel goes twirly.

No doubt this is the cause of much amused laughter from Sarah, and the Number 10 staff, and various aides and passing EU ambassadors.

So why repeat it? I reckon this “twirly time” must be a cherished moment of intimacy for the Browns, so the prime minister unconsciously reenacts the happy memory during times of stress, as a kind of Freudian defence.

It all - suddenly - makes sense

Thursday, April 16, 2009

HOORAY!


Yowza.


As of this morning, my thriller, The Genesis Secret, is Number One on the UK Bookseller Heatseeker charts. For the third week running.

Number 1. You gotta love that. Not 2 - but... 1. ONE. Numbah Wun. In the premier spot. Top of the pile. King of the Mountain. The wearer of the laurels. The gold medallist. The silverback. The alpha, the first, the winner, the leader of the pack. Number 1. At the peak. Topping out. Making the summit. Standing above. Numere une. Uno. Eins. Numberrrrr.......... ONE!!!

Tomorrow I may be number 2. But today I am number 1*

*for the third week running