Sunday, September 26, 2010

Movie Idea

Hello everyone, I am in Cajarmarca, Peru, and I've just had an interesting idea for a movie. See what you think.

Here’s the first scene.


A cold wind is blowing from the Polish forests. Another trainload of European Jewry has arrived at the grim and brooding portals of Auschwitz Two.

The train, steaming in the snowy wind, pulls to a halt. Crowds of Hungarian Jews are quickly forced from the cattletrucks. Women are weeping, children wailing. The bedraggled men stare up the tracks in despair.

The Germans are waiting. Fierce dogs bark at the frightened prisoners. Gestapo officers shout Schnell!! Schnell!! Schnell!!

Now the Jews are being forced along the platform, down a cold grey slope, and into a strange darkened chamber. The crying and howling increases, the hysteria is unbearable.

They are packed inside the chamber. A metal door slams behind them. The last lights go out and the chamber is pitch black.

Suddenly the lights go on again - and they’re disco lights! Red and yellow lights, complete with spinning disco mirror ball, flash and strobe across the room.

The Jewry realise that they are in a cleverly concealed underground disco! A smiling SS commandant is on the decks, spinning some discs - rap and trance, drum n bass, maybe some old skool sounds. The delighted Jews begin to shuffle, then they start boogying.

A previously terrified rabbi from Lodz starts breakdancing in the middle of the dancefloor. Several goldsmiths from Buda blow their rave whistles and perform The Hustle.

The dancing concludes. A genial Ukrainian guards explains to the Jews that they are part of Hitler’s “Vinyl Solution” - a daring but secret bid to unite all of Europe under the banner of disco grooves and the Balearic beat.

I am open to any interest from Hollywood producers.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Toffeewomble Redux

Is this the weirdest church in the world? Quite possibly. It's a church made out of dolmens, in remote St Dinis, central Portugal - which I visited last month.

Why am I posting this superb photo by myself? No reason - other than to celebrate Ye Offycialle Toffeewomble Refurb.

Is there anything more to add? No! But I hope to be posting a few more photos very shortly, and generally synching my blog, website, and twitterstream in an exciting and almost sexual way, from now on.